The Gift of Caregiving

You’re reading Modern Motherhood Musings, a weekly newsletter written from one mom to another. Each week I share an honest reflection on motherhood and a collection of things bringing me joy. Some links in this newsletter are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support!

If you ask older generations to reflect on the season of life they miss most, their answers might surprise you. It’s not the big adventures or career milestones. It’s not the years of independence or freedom. More often than not, they long for the time when their children were young, when life was chaotic and full of little hands reaching for them.

It makes sense. This time is loud and messy. It’s exhausting. Most days, I feel like I’m running on fumes, constantly tending to the needs of others.

But maybe that’s exactly why we miss it. Maybe it’s because we were made for this—to care for others. There is something deeply human about being needed, about showing up for the small, ordinary rhythms of someone else’s life.

Right now, I help my children with almost everything. I trim their fingernails. I let them hold onto my shoulder for balance as they slip one little foot into pajama pants and then the other. I tie shoes, brush teeth, and cut food into bite-sized pieces. I wipe runny noses, retrieve lost toys, and hold tiny hands as we cross the street. In a single day, I can be everything from a chef, a chauffeur, a teacher, a nurse, or a referee.

And while it is exhausting, it is also life-giving. Watching these little humans grow, witnessing the small ways they need me less and less each day—it fills me with pride and breaks my heart at the same time.

Motherhood has given me a sense of purpose deeper than anything I have ever known—caring for those who depend on me, knowing that my presence shapes their world.

But I don’t think this longing is exclusive to mothers. I think as humans have an innate desire to be needed, to find purpose in caring for others. And yet, we live in a time where we’re drifting further and further away from that.

A recent study found that the United States is one of the unhappiest countries in the world, which coincides with a troubling cultural trend: the dismantling of programs that care for those who can’t care for themselves. We’ve dismantled support for everything from farmers to school kids, and veterans to park rangers.

I find it hard to ignore how this correlates. We’ve become more unhappy as a society, at the same time we’ve decided that carrying for others is overrated.

Maybe those older parents who say they miss having young kids at home are letting us in on one of life’s greatest secrets when they reflect on their years caring for young children.

Maybe the secret to happiness isn’t in having more freedom, more time, or more ease. Maybe it’s in choosing to care, in choosing to lean into the moments when we are most needed.

Maybe the thing we were made for—the thing that brings us the most joy—isn’t about us at all.

🥫I put this sauce in Brandon’s stocking at Christmas not knowing what to expect and it’s SO GOOD! We’ve been drizzling it on everything. I’ve seen it sold at my local grocery store and Target as well.

💅🏼 I recently discovered Dazzle Dry and I will never go back to regular nail polish. It goes on like a regular polish (no gel or powder) and can be removed at home with nail polish remover, but dries completely in 5 minutes!

🌮 If you’re craving weeknight fajitas, you can’t go wrong with this recipe. The mushrooms and poblano peppers give it a healthy twist. Our entire family (kids included) loved it!

Happy Friday, Friends! I hope you all have a great weekend!

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