From Meltdowns to Growth: Facing Life Outside Our Comfort Zone

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You’re reading Modern Motherhood Musings, a weekly newsletter written from one mom to another. Each week I share an honest reflection on motherhood, and a collection of things bringing me joy. I’m passionate about community, and I hope that by sharing our stories, we all feel a little less alone. Some links in this newsletter are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support!

Last weekend was one of those weekends where our calendar was packed to the brim. In addition to our regular routine, we had three birthday parties on the schedule.

Both of my kids were in full meltdown mode by the third party. They cried about having to take their shoes off at the door, and once inside, they sat against the wall, refusing to participate in any of the activities or games. My husband and I left there feeling like we were failing as parents and seriously frustrated at their behavior. It was tough to watch all of the other kids play and have fun while ours refused.

On Sunday, we decided to try a new church. We’ve talked about going and backed out several times already. My stomach became a ball of nerves the second I stepped out of the car.

Where was the entrance? What was the childcare situation?

What would the service be like? What if no one talks to us?

The lack of information going into this unfamiliar environment threw me off balance. Before we even stepped foot in the door, I wanted to turn around and drive back home.

As we walked through the parking lot, I felt a wave of compassion for my oldest son. He had been feeling similarly anxious all weekend, but didn’t have the words to express his emotions.

We had dragged him from one party to the next, with little to no information about what to expect once we got there. We’d load him in the car, tell him we were going to see his friends and eat cake, and expect him to smile and participate.

But my oldest son is so much like me. We want to have as much information as possible ahead of time so that we’re prepared for any situation we’ll encounter.

Knowing what to expect makes us feel confident, but feeling out of our element makes us retreat inward.

I’ll check Google Maps before going somewhere to know what the parking situation will be like, or read through a menu before going out to eat to have an idea of what I’ll order.

Some of this stems from anxiety, and having information ahead of time helps me feel in control (or at least think I am).

Despite all my fears, the church service was excellent. We unknowingly walked in the back door, but one of the pastors showed us around and helped us get acquainted. The service was welcoming, and we felt a sense of community. Afterward, I left feeling more confident in our ability to handle anything new that might come our way as a family.

If you’re feeling nervous this week about facing an unknown situation, know that you’re not alone. We’ve all been there.

💄 I’ve been using this La Roche-Posay serum to help fight some dark spots that popped up on my face during pregnancy. I’ve been really impressed so far.

📖 If you’re even the least bit interested in history, I highly recommend Sharon McMahon’s book The Small and The Mighty. It’s a fascinating read filled with the stories of people who shaped our country, but who we didn’t hear much about in history class.

☕️ This snickerdoodle latte is my guilty pleasure all winter. I don’t even want to know how many calories it has, but it’s such a treat to make at home during the cold months.

Each week, one mom will be giving you a glimpse into her world, so you can get to know some of the incredible women in the Modern Motherhood Musings community. If you'd like to be featured next, Email me.

How do you find moments of self-care amidst the chaos of motherhood?

I am an early bird so I use this to my advantage. During the pandemic my husband and I transformed our guest room into a gym. I allot time for myself most mornings in my home gym - either running on the treadmill or taking a strength class. Self-care is not selfish and a good reminder that when I give myself this time to take care of myself I can better show up for my children. 

What’s a lesson your child has taught you?

My children are constantly teaching me to slow down and take notice of the simple things in life. I am constantly learning from my children each day to revisit the child that still lives within me. It doesn't matter what kind of day I have had, playing with them instantly centers me and reminds me of what is important - spending special time with them 

What’s one thing you wish you’d known before becoming a mom?

Good question - I wish I had known that before children all the times I thought I was "tired" really that wasn't the case! Motherhood is exhausting, a full time job from early in the morning until the children go down at night. With that exhaustion comes an amazing resilience that only a mom understands - moms get things done and support and understand each other. I didn't understand the exhaustion that comes with motherhood but I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

What’s a skill or value you hope to pass down to your children?

I hope my children learn to understand failure and the growth that comes from it. I've made plenty of mistakes in my life - personally and professionally. Both have led me to where I am today and using the strength to overcome these challenges is something I'm truly grateful for. I want to help my children through their failures and instill in them the determination to learn from the experience.

I hope you enjoyed our new “From One Mom, to Another” section. If you’d like to be featured next, please reply to this email!

Happy Friday, Friends! I am SO thankful for this Modern Motherhood community!

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