Breaking the Scroll Cycle

You’re reading Modern Motherhood Musings, a weekly newsletter written from one mom to another. Each week I share an honest reflection on motherhood, and a collection of things bringing me joy. I’m passionate about community, and I hope that by sharing our stories, we all feel a little less alone. Some links in this newsletter are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support!

A few months ago, I started noticing how much time I spent glued to my phone. The first thing I did each morning was roll over and check it, and the trend continued until I laid down for bed. The last thing I would do before closing my eyes was browse Instagram again.

Any free second I had, without even thinking, I’d pick up my phone and start mindlessly scrolling. If we were watching a movie, I couldn’t just sit there and watch. I’d halfway pay attention while scrolling the social media feeds.

All day long, I was consuming everything — news headlines, announcements from friends, parenting advice, funny memes, and holiday recipes I swore I’d make. All of this overconsumption left me brain-dead and mentally exhausted. Having a normal conversation with friends and family felt taxing, and just being present for my kids was a struggle.

I know this sounds extreme, but trust me when I tell you, it’s true. I was constantly connected, without actually connecting.

My average screen time over the past month was 5 hours per day. That adds up to 76 days a year. SEVENTY-SIX DAYS of my life each year, spent on my phone. Can you imagine what you can do with an extra 76 days?

I was disgusted when I started thinking about how limited our time here on earth is and how much of it I spent scrolling.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of beautiful things that come out of social media. I’m able to share pictures of my kids as they grow up so my family, which is spread out all across the country, can see. I’ve also been able to stay connected through the years with friends from different seasons of life.

But there has to be a balance, and the negatives can’t outweigh the positives. I have to be able to engage in a way that’s balanced and not draining, and that just hasn’t been happening lately.

I decided I needed to give myself some boundaries, similar to how we set boundaries for our children. We know it’s for their good, even though it’s not always fun, and I know it’s for my good as well.

I’m taking a break from social media for the rest of the month. I need to allow my mind to rest and take a break from the constant noise. My passion is writing, and I can’t create if I’m constantly consuming.

I don't think this will be a forever change by any means, but I’m excited for some space to focus on the things that really matter—presence and precious moments with the ones we love most—time that we can never get back.

🥗 I made this salad for Thanksgiving (recommended by Courtney below) and it was so good! I can’t wait to make it again soon! I used half Brussel sprouts and half kale.

🍿One of my favorite things about the holiday season are all of the cheesy holiday romantic comedies. We watched Hot Frosty this week and I thought it was pretty cute. I’d rate it a 7/10 on the holiday rom-com scale.

🎄My husband’s been sending the link to this podcast to everyone he knows today, so I had to share it here too! The Stuff You Should Know - Holiday Extravaganza.

Each week, one mom will be giving you a glimpse into her world, so you can get to know some of the incredible women in the Modern Motherhood Musings community. If you'd like to be featured next, Email me.

What has been the most challenging thing about motherhood?

Striking the balance between wishing something away and then missing it once it’s gone. In the earliest days, it was wishing the baby would sleep through the night, then once he did, missing those moments of peace together in the middle of the night. More recently, I quit nursing. While I was so ready to be untethered, I felt an unexpected wave of sadness with each feed I dropped. These are only a couple of examples of an inevitable cycle we all go through as moms and a reminder to savor every moment!

What’s a lesson your child has taught you?

Resilience. From my girl walking into kindergarten with her head held high, to my baby moving smoothly through “big boy” transitions, I’m always amazed by how well my kids adapt to new things. The more they show me this, the more I realize I can move confidently as a parent as well. We’ve got this!

How do you navigate the pressure to “do it all” as a mom?

By reminding myself that it’s okay to say “no.” Many of us see a free weekend on the calendar and rush to fill it. It took me a long time to relish a free weekend as an opportunity to reconnect with my people rather than over-committing out of concern I’d be missing out on something by declining. It’s freeing to realize that we can do “most,” not “all,” and still be doing a pretty darn good job! 

Happy Friday, Friends! I hope you all have a great weekend!

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